Shedding Layers.
Maybe destruction isn't necessarily building something new out of ashes, but revealing what always was.
We see so many systems and societal things being removed and eradicated in the world currently, but there’s this unspoken empty space and lingering despair. A void eerily filled with yearning for something new, say a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Call it spiritual bypassing or a desperate hope to find the positive correction, but I think that script needs to be flipped. The yoga community often throws around that yoga isn’t about doing, but rather undoing. This is applied to mindset and indoctrinated ways of thinking. I sometimes wonder if shifting my lense is merely creating a delirious sense of calm and acceptance or actually finding the correct ‘way’ or perspective. After 15 years of practicing yoga I’ve gotten really good at finding a positive thread to tug on in any scenario, but does this pseudo delirium actually improve anything besides my nervous system (which is a very valuable thing to calm)? The science does say yes, click for one of many studies on how mindset and perspective do positively effect outcome across many facets- so I’m here for it. Back to the idea that we destroy not always to make space for building something new, but to remove layers and reveal things underneath, exfoliate per say. One of my favorite sayings is “You are not just a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop.” -Rumi. Like the Purnamadah chant reminds us of eternal completeness within all life. This innate sense of wholeness and infinite connection to life provides me solace and reminds me of the internal compass we all carry. When I am chewing over an idea or at a fork in the road I try to close my eyes and get a sense for how different possible trajectories feel internally when I imagine them. The issue isn’t having the internal knowledge or completeness at all times, it’s having the pace and ear to hear what’s being said. When I’m worried about deadlines, schedules, keeping up appearances, or any of the other hustle bustle tasks that easily surface to top priority of the day, it is near impossible to feel that inner voice whisper. Now I’m not saying every time duty calls we all must uproot our lives and strip down to simplistic routines in a yoga retreat in a foreign country, but we really do need to create rhythms and capacity to peel back the external layers and see what wonderful wisdom, peace, and comfort we can find deep within ourselves. I’ve recently come back to a hobby I loved doing years ago in my morning garden time, that could take as little as 2 minutes or get you lost in time for hours, if desired. Click here for some stellar zen content. My younger self loved spending time in the garden and a camera to take pictures of plants is the first gift I can remember asking for. Like hard shell candy covers and guards the inner nugget, life’s schedules and demands can also cover and guard the sweetest and most nourishing parts inside of us. When I got to Costa Rica just over 3 weeks over my Oura ring was telling me that my HRV (basically internal capacity to recover from stress) was plummeting. Now my average nightly score is anywhere from 30-50 points higher than it ever has been since I started tracking it. By no means is adapting to working in a garden in the hot sun and humidity of dry-season in the rainforest, sleeping without AC, removing dead layers of debri from a greenhouse, and layering in nutrients to soil thats been abandoned for years an easy thing on the body, but I’m spending time listening to audio books and jamming to music while watering plants and taking pictures of how beautifully the sun reflects on the shapes in the garden. All of these things I knew at one point how much I cherished and how calm they made me feel, but it’s so easy to get wrapped up in a ‘I’ll do it later’ mindset of simple things that have profound stability on our nervous system. Destruction is great. Things get removed and taken from our lives and it forces change, like it or not. My outer shell was cracked and the outcome is a powerful reminder that joy and pain and everyday is beautiful. We can take all of the yoga classes in the world, but if we’re not slowing down enough to connect to our inner curiosities and adoration for the beauty of life, there are still many layers to peel back before we can get to the good stuff. Maybe it’s figuratively coming back to trusting our gut instincts. Maybe it’s actually getting comfortable in our own skin and expression, like the fact I haven’t worn any of my tank tops since my first week here and have gotten to the point of working in the greenhouse in my sports bras and bikini tops to keep cool. Exfoliate. Don’t overdress or overheat. I’m pretty sure we’ve all fought over the center of the cinnamon roll at one point in our lives. We all inherently know how sweet it is in the center of something good. I guess this is just a lot of rambling about what people mean when they say they’re being “centered”.